Most of us have been in that situation where we have had the make the painful decision to end a relationship, or it was ended by the other person.
There are months or even years of heartbreak and pain in trying to make something work that is clearly not filling you with support, love and friendship.
Years of perhaps trying to change who you are in order for the other person to treat you the way that you deserve and wish to be treated.
Years of trying to change another in order for you to feel safe and loved.
Years of probably thinking why don’t they love me enough to treat me the right way.
Perhaps the other has betrayed your trust in some way and they are the ones who have ended the relationship.
Or over time you just fell out of love with this person, you may have grown and changed and they have remained the same.
We are often left with feelings of guilt, betrayal, hurt and a sense at having failed in some huge way, and confused as to where it all went wrong.
Amidst the pain there is a sense of shame that leads to the belief that something must be wrong with you and that must be the reason why the relationship did not work.
In that moment your heart is broken and your world is shattered, and then there is the added embarrassment of having to reveal this to the world around you.
In some cases you may be fully supported, in others you may be judged and criticised.
What I find most surprising is that the ones that you thought would be there for you are often the ones that disappear and are nowhere to be seen.
This only leads to further feelings of pain and heart break and grief.
Pain of losing something comes in so many different forms, the loss of a job, the loss of a pet, the loss of a friendship, the loss of a relationship, receiving a medical diagnosis that changes your world, or the loss of a loved one.
All of these situations are painful, they are fearful and they are heartbreaking to say the least.
So, what is the purpose of experiencing pain, what is the purpose of heartbreak, what is it that this really achieves?
What I have come to know through my experiences of heartbreak at relationship losses, of family fallouts, of friendship breakdowns, and of the loss of loved ones, all seems to have an underlying flavour and theme.
These situations have occurred in my life to crack open my heart, to fill me with a deeper sense of awareness of the Universe and for me to grow on so many levels.
Co dependant and abusive relationships have taught me these invaluable lessons:
I have a strength within me that I did not know was there
I am capable of living my life for myself without needing the permission of another to be myself
I discovered who I was, who I wanted to be and what mattered to me in my life
I became an independent individual capable of making my own life decisions
I learned to love me for who I am and to no longer take on the beliefs of another
I developed deep self worth and deep self love for all of me
I recognised that I am worthy, valuable and beautiful
I learned to celebrate my quirkiness and my weirdness
I reconnected to my own unique spiritual gifts
I learned to provide myself with all that I could ever need from another
I learned that all I need to change is how I feel about myself and the world around me and life will meet me there
Happiness is an inside job, it cannot be obtained from any person, thing or place
I am worthy, I am valuable, I am whole and complete just as I am.
The loss and heartbreak of losing a loved ones has taught me these invaluable lessons:
The first loss that I experienced led to some serious questioning of why we are even here and what is the purpose of our existence which ignited my 30 year spiritual quest.
This catapulted me into the realms of all things Universal, Spirit and consciousness.
I discovered and connected with my higher power along with my Soul.
I gained the understanding that all life is precious.
Love is the answer to all, it is our natural state of Being.
What we think is important now can be gone tomorrow so make the most of what you have and are today.
Our existence continues long after we leave this physical plane.
We are all connected.
There is more to this life than meets the eye.
Life wants to support us.
This world is filled with beauty should we choose to see this.
We are powerful beyond measure.
Grief and loss is often the greatest catalyst to awakening and deep spiritual enlightenment.
In every painful experience there is a beautiful gift, a hidden jewel just waiting for you to discover.
To get to this hidden Jewel we must first allow ourselves to feel the fullness of the emotions that are arising as painful as they may be.
It is this pain that breaks the chains of your heart and this allows your Souls light to shine through.
Every situation is happening for you, not against you.
They are golden opportunities for your Souls growth and your hearts expansion.
In an instant what you thought was important can drop away and in its place the real value of your life is revealed to you.
Your priorities change and simplicity becomes a must, relationships deepen, and you no longer take your life for granted.
As your Soul shines through you are able to then glean all of the learnings of these painful lessons.
Lessons such as recognising your own worth, redefining your boundaries, discovering your ideal relationship or committing to living a more fulfilling life.
Sometimes it is as simple as recognising that love is more important than any material object or achievement.
As I look back over my life and all of the traumatic, painful and heartbreaking situations that I have been through not one of them has been for nothing.
Every one of them has been the springboard for higher learning, greater personal growth and a deep far reaching connection to the love of the Universe and those around me.
You are no longer the same person that you were before you went through this pain and suffering.
Take time to acknowledge how far you have come, how much you have grown and how significantly you have changed as a result.
Seek the jewels and they will be revealed to you and as you discover them your healing and growth will be integrated into your Heart and your Soul.