Saying “YES” to you is the greatest gift that you can give to yourself

I often tell people that I am a recovering people pleaser.

I say recovering because it is an aspect of myself that is completely ingrained in my Psyche.

A desire to help others, to make others feel good, to love those who don’t know how to love themselves, to love others as they are, and I feel deep compassion for all whom I meet, love and work with.

I have a deep desire for others to be happy, to find happiness within themselves and in their lives.

This has often in my life led me to say YES to people, places, and situations over and over again, even when I didn’t really want to.

The thought of upsetting another person or letting someone down was not worth the anxiety it would cause to say no, so I would just say yes.

So much of my personal healing journey has been to learn to say no with love.

To have healthy boundaries with time and energy.

The most important lesson however that I have learned is to say yes to me first.

Discovering that one of my primary Archetypes is the Advocate Rescuer has further helped me in being able to embody this in all areas of my life.

She is all about helping others, she is kind, generous, supportive and has a huge compassionate heart.

She embodies the energy of the Goddess Kwan-Yin and she has been one of my greatest teachers.
I have come to love this big-hearted compassionate archetype.

When you love, support, advocate for and say yes to yourself first, you become a love-filled cup that is overflowing with more than enough for all that you choose to share with.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

Awaken to the voice of your Soul

Are you awake to the voice of your heart?

Are you awake to the song of your Soul?

Are you awake to the truth of your intuition?

Are you awake to the wisdom of your life’s experience?

Are you awake to your truth?

Are you awake to the symphony of life that plays for you each day?

Have you opened your heart to the creative force that is the Divine to flow to you and through you?

Have you witnessed the beauty of your Soul through the reflection of your eyes in the mirror?

Have you used your voice to express the infinite wisdom within you?

Have your ears heard the harmonious melody of life?

Your heart knows you
Your Soul knows you
The Divine knows you
Life knows you

When you turn your attention inward and disconnect from the external noise of the world around you, you begin to awaken.

When you trust the voice of your heart and ignore the noise in your head you begin to awaken.

When the attune your attention to the wisdom of your Soul you begin to awaken.

When you see the value and worth within you, you begin to awaken.

When the symphony of the Universe fills your heart, mind and soul, you are starting to awaken.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

If not now when?

I have at times in my life been the perpetual “gonna” girl, which in Australian slang means ‘going to’.

They have often throughout my life sounded like this…

I’m going to lose weight
I’m going to have a daily exercise practice
I’m going to leave this unhealthy relationship
I’m going to get healthy
I’m going to start my business
I’m going to write a blog
I’m going to write a book
I’m going to change my life
I’m going to leave my toxic job

This then turns into one day…

One day when I have ……… I’ll be happy
One day I’ll do my dream
One day I’ll meet the right person
One day I’ll get help
One day I’ll listen to my heart
One day I’ll change my life
One day I’ll get healthy
One day I’ll have a pet
One day I’ll write a book
One day I’ll take that art class
One day I’ll take time to do what I love
One day I’ll have time to get healthy
One day I’ll when I have time to get help
One day I’ll love myself
One day I’ll have my dream job

Your intuition and the voice of your soul are constantly nudging you with ideas and inspiration as to what would most serve your happiness and your highest good.

A feeling inside of you that your body would love you to move

An idea or image in your mind of the right foods for you to eat

A thought that I should really do this

A dream of a healthy relationship or the perfect business idea

A wish for the place that you would love to live in

A knowing of a healthy relationship

You know deep inside of yourself exactly what it is that you want to do with and in your life.

If you don’t start taking action on it now, then when will you?

One day or I’m going to can roll into each new year and continue this momentum until before you know it 5 years have passed.

5 years of still sitting in the same place
5 years of still being in the same relationship
5 years of still being in the same toxic workplace
5 years of still living an unhealthy life style
5 years of putting your dreams on hold
5 years of saying one day
5 years of not moving forward

So if not now when will you do what it is that you want to do in your life?

Are you willing to wait another 5 years to create the change that you want to make in your life?

If this is you and you are ready to make a positive change in your life then please get in touch.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

Compassionate Heart

I have always felt deep compassion for others, be it animals, people, or nature.

Throughout my life, the love that I have felt for others has often felt as though my heart would literally burst.

Being able to feel that level of compassion for myself, however, has been one of my life’s struggles.

It has always felt easier to do so for another than to do so for myself.

Having discovered that I have the Advocate Rescuer Archetype has given me such a deeper insight to myself.

She has a huge heart and embodies the spirit of the beautiful goddess of compassion Quan Yin.
She loves to help others, she stands up for those who cannot stand up for themselves, and she accepts those she meets for who they are without judgement.

One of her biggest lessons, however, is to show that same level of love, compassion, and acceptance to herself.

Learning to view and treat myself with compassion has been one of the greatest gifts that I have given to myself.

It has helped me to forgive myself for some really shitty choices and decisions that I have made in my life and as I have done that, I have been able to recognise that all of the choices that I have made has moulded me into the person I am today.

I like and value the person that I am today, and the commitment that I made to myself more than 6 years ago to rewire my negative self-talk and self-judgement is what supported me in doing so.

So how can you be more compassionate to yourself?

  1. When you find yourself criticising or judging yourself, stop and say “I am doing the best that I can”
  1. When the monkey mind is telling you all of the negative BS stop and say “I am enough”
  1. When you catch yourself beating yourself up for not doing something right or the way you think that you should have stop and say “I love and approve of myself”

These are just a few of the ways that I learned to become more compassionate with myself.

You too can make a commitment to yourself to shift the way that you treat yourself.

This is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

Stop waiting for someone else to tell you it’s ok to be you

As children, we intuitively read the lay of the land, we feel others emotions along with reading their energy fields.

As a result of this, we learn to modify our behaviour to make sure that those around us will love, nurture, feed, and care for us.

We learn early on that if I do this thing or act this way the grown-ups around me will be happy and so I will feel safe.

Children from the ages of 0 – 7 are sponges soaking up all of this external data that then becomes hard-wired into your subconscious.

Then you go to school and learn about friends and judgements even criticism.
So you further modify who you want to be to feel safe and accepted in the world around you.

Then we move into high school where judgement, criticism and a driving need to fit in and feel accepted drives all of your behaviours.

This pattern is repeated throughout most of our lives.

Always seeking external feedback and validation as to whether or not the way we think, speak, look, dress, walk, is accepted.

It’s no wonder that we experience identity crisis’s most of our lives.

There comes a time in your life when you just have to say F*** it, I just want to be me.

Then begins the journey of letting go of all of the beliefs and labels that were never yours, to begin with.

The question to be asking yourself is…

“How do I feel about this thing?”
“What do I really want to say?”
“Who do I want to be?”
“Who would I be if I could be whomever I wanted to be?”
“What do I really want to do?”

Take time to observe how you react to situations and make your decisions.

Are your decisions based on your needs and desires or are they determined by how you will be viewed, accepted, and loved?

Do you squash down your views and thoughts out of fear of how those around you will judge you?

Is your opinion of yourself determined by the views and opinions of others?

One of my favourite sayings is “If not now, when?”

If you don’t love yourself now, when will you?
If you can’t be yourself self now, when will you?
If you can’t express your views and opinions now, when will you?
If you can’t accept yourself now, then when will you?

In other words, what are you waiting for?

Are you waiting for someone else to tell you that it’s ok for you to be you?

If so then stop!

One of the greatest lessons that I have learned on my own personal self-discovery journey is this.

The more that I accept myself for who I am the more accepted I feel in the world.
The more I value and respect myself the more value and respect I am treated with in the world.
The more I express myself the more actively I am heard in the world.
The more I love myself the more loved I feel in the world.

There is only one you.

No one else can be you and no one else can do you.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

The Day the Light Grew Bright

There once was a girl who found herself floating in a sea of confusion, fear and ungrounded.

Her once secured line to Source had become more and more eroded each time that she forgot that it was there.

A lifeline that she had been born with, a golden cord of light that would keep her tethered to her Soul so that she would forever remember who she was.

It would take much for her to forget, years of doubt, uncertainty, and pain that turned her away from the voice of love as the voice of fear grew louder.

The voice was subtle at first.
It came in the form of teachers, school rooms and friends.
It came in the form of scriptures and authority figures.
It came in the form of bullies and magazines.
It came in the form of confused looks on faces of loved ones who did not understand her words.
It came in the form of emotions that were too loud and too intense for her to process.
It came in the form of words designed to keep her small and unsure.

In later years that voice became her incessant mutterings that would never cease in her head.

As this voice grew louder, the voice of God became softer, less frequent and the light of the golden cord began to dim.

Her constant companion that held her hand wrapped her in love and whispered to her that all would be well could not be felt or heard over the voice of fear.

She had moments in dreams, in nature and prayer when the golden cord flashed so brightly that she felt for sure she would remember what she had forgotten.

Moments when a love so profound would flow through her mind and body lifting her above the darkness only to have the hand of fear reach out and pull her back down into its fold.

Soon this became the ebb and flow of her life for many turns of the sun.

Then one day, she could no longer endure the constant battle that was raging within her.

She sent out a cry to the Divine that went straight to the heavens, the need so great and pure that it reignited the golden cord of light.

At first, the hand of the Divine came by way of people with messages of wisdom that her ears were ready to hear.

These words sparked hope deep in her heart, and the light began to seep through the layers of darkness long held there.

Then came the dreams, a dream of floating within the expansive vastness of the ocean, she but a small spec of bacteria floating freely.

There were no thoughts only the sense of being surrounded and held safely in the sea, then the realisation that she too was the sea, not separate to the sea, but one with the sea.

The light grew brighter.

Then the dream of being an egg experiencing the moment of conception, an incredible explosion of light, within the Universe, a galaxy unto its own was born. The intensity of love was like no other she had ever felt before.

The light grew brighter.

Another dream, an integrate highway of dominos.
As the first domino fell, it set off a chain of events that revealed to her all of the decisions that she had ever made in her life.
Demonstrating to her the ripple effect of every choice, every relationship, every decision, and how all of those had led her to exactly where she was meant to be right here right now.

The light grew brighter.

Then the eyes appeared, each time that she meditated they would be right there one green one purple, yet closed, oh the power of those eyes rippled throughout her whole body.

She could feel the universal love that those eyes represented, it was exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

What would I see if those eyes opened, would they see me, would they love me, who was behind those eyes?

This became a daily dance, would the eyes be there, would they open, did I want them to open, was I worthy of being seen through these incredible eyes.

The light grew brighter.

Meditation became the door through which the cord of golden light to my soul was remembered and healed.

Each time that I meditated I felt the presence of God that I had known as a child come to me, this felt both feminine and masculine in nature.
Then one night as I lost all sense of my physical body in meditation.
Wrapped up in a feeling of unconditional love, I felt that I was one with love, the eyes opened.

They were no longer purple and green, they were golden, as they opened and looked right into me, I felt a love so profound that it took me beyond this world and into another realm.

There were no words, no thoughts, nothing only pure expansive unconditional love, formless and timeless.

The light grew brighter than I could ever have dreamed.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

Be the Caterpillar

When you are constantly on the move, always focusing your attention on the next best thing you can miss out on the chance to fully embody all of the brilliant transformations that are going on within you.

We come from a generation of quick fixes, overachieving, and setting the next goal.
All of which creates a constant desire to have more and to be more.

This insistent desire to keep moving forward, maintaining momentum, and constantly reaching for something greater, can lead to exhaustion and burn out.

Your inspirational ideas to continue to grow and create becomes addictive. 
So much so that you can potentially trigger your nervous system to switch into overdrive. 
Always feeling as though you need to be “on” can turn into resentment, believing as though everyone wants something from you, and spiral you into negative self judgement.

While it is great and healthy when balanced to be looking at ways that you can improve on who you are, it can become redundant if you never allow yourself to rest and fully appreciate where you have come from and all that you have achieved thus far. 

When was the last time that you took the time to review all that you have accomplished in your life?

Moments in your life when you had to dig deep and tap into your inner strength and resilience to work through unexpected events that popped up.

Events such as deciding to make a career change.
What events led to this decision?
Perhaps it was recognising that the organisation that you worked for was no longer in alignment with your values. 
A relationship where you knew long before you made your decision was no longer healthy or right for you.
Acknowledging the way you were living your life needed to change to positively support your health and wellbeing.

We think that these decisions are made in an instant, but they are not.
They are made based on years of intuitive nudges from your heart that something is out of balance.

Having the courage to take the next step, whatever that may have been for you is huge.
It requires a level of self love realisation.

Realising that you are worthy of a loving relationship, setting healthy boundaries, working in an environment that supports your strengths, and choosing wellbeing in mind and body comes from a place of love for all that you are.

These are monumental choices and decisions that have changed the course of your life and they deserve to be recognised.

Everything in your life that you have gone through has been transforming you into the version of you that you are today.

This in no way implies that the journey has been an easy one.
For some of you, these moments would have been preceded by great pain and suffering.
For some of you, these moments will have been filled with a great sense of freedom and achievement.

Whichever one it is for you, looking forward to “what’s next” may have been your go-to.

This has certainly been true for me in my life.
Looking for what I could focus my attention on was a way for me to ensure that I kept moving forward, a little like outrunning the past or trying to do better than the last great thing.

One of the learnings for me over these last few months has been to be ok with standing still.

Not being able to plan for the future has opened the door for being even more present.

This moment in time has forced us to all stand still and provided us with the unique opportunity to reflect on what is and on what has been.

We can choose to live this time in fear or we can choose to see it as an opportunity to reflect on where we have come from, a time to reassess what matters most to us, a time of rest, a time to fully embrace and embody all that has led us to where we are right now.

We are all caterpillars right now cocooned within a chrysalis.
We all have the opportunity now to shed our layers so that we may transform into the butterfly.

So take this time to honour how much you have grown in your life.
To recognise the strength, courage, and resilience that you have.
Let where you are right now, be enough for you and take the time to nurture yourself.

It is in giving yourself this time, all that you have done up until now can fully integrate into your being.

You may not think that what you have done isn’t much, and I am here to tell you that it is nothing short of miraculous.

Be the Caterpillar so that when the time comes to spread those wings and fly you will be more than ready.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

Blue Tardis is out of order!

As a kid growing up, I loved the series, Dr Who.

I was absolutely fascinated and sometimes terrified at the idea of multidimensional worlds and travelling back in time.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all travel back in time and make different choices based on the information that we have access to today?

But ALAS!! The blue Tardis is out of order and travelling back into the past is not an option.

So much of my healing journey has been recognising that I cannot go back to the past.

There is no opportunity for me to change the choices that I have made in my life.

What I have struggled with the most is coming to terms with, accepting, taking responsibility for, and forgiving myself for the choices that I have made.

I have beaten myself up for so many years over the decisions that I have made and the actions that I have taken.

Words that were spoken that can never be taken back, opportunities lost that I was too afraid to take, and the choices that I made that can never be undone.

The most difficult thing for me to do was to forgive that person that I was for the things that she did or did not do.

There is no time warp machine that I can hop on into and teleport myself back to the moment that I should have said no instead of yes, yes instead of no, or turned left instead of right.

It has been through recognising that the woman that I was at 32 could only have made the choices based on who she was in that moment.

Choices based on the pain that she was in and the level of consciousness that she was at during that time.

The young adult that I was at age 22 did not have the level of life experiences, emotional maturity, wisdom or knowledge that the woman I am at age 49 has had the chance to explore and evolve into.

I have in a way taken myself back into the past but not with the intention of changing anything.
I have ventured into the realms of my psyche to speak with, hold and tell those younger versions of myself that it is all ok.
Everything happened exactly that way that it was supposed to so that I could be the woman that I am today.

To say thank you to her for the choices that she made as it is through those life experiences that I am now in a position to help so many other women going through those exact same moments in time right now.

It is in living all that I have lived that I can with deep empathy, compassion, and love, have a deep understanding for those who are struggling with the same choices and decisions that I once struggled with.

So I have held her, I have told her how proud I am of her, I have reassured her that it was all worth something and that I would not her change herself in any way.

I have forgiven her for all that she chose to do in those moments, and I have done so because she could not have done anything differently based on who she was in that moment in time.

The only Tardis that is available to you is through the doorway of your heart.
A doorway that allows you the chance to travel back to who the version of you is that needs your love, compassion and forgiveness so that you can be released of all unnecessary pain in this reality that is now.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

Who am I without nothing?

I often ask myself who am I?

Who am I without my house?
Who am I without my name?
Who am I without my things?
Who am I without my titles and certificates?
Who am I without my business?

I sit and I ponder this often.

Here is what I have come up with today and it could look completely different tomorrow. 

I am a girl – I feel this often as I have never really felt like a “real” grown-up. 

I am a girl who loves to look up at the sky and wonders what heaven is really like.
I am a girl who looks up at the clouds and gets excited at the magic of the Universe and asks whose face is that looking at me in those clouds, is that you god? 

I am a girl who marvels at the beauty of the colours of the skies and the brilliance of the rainbows and asks in wonder, Universe did you create this all just for me?
I am a girl who discovers dragons in rocks and makes a point of touching his face every day and saying hello my friend how are you? And hearing his reply. He is my brother.
I am a girl who stands at the ocean’s edge and says hello to her brothers and sisters the waves and feels their mischievous replies as they race to splash me with their laughter.

I am a girl who says hello to every bird that she meets and knows on some level that they see me and hear me beyond the flesh. These are my brothers and sisters also. 

I am a girl who says hello to every tree that she passes, and sees their branches dip in greeting. They are my brothers and sisters. 

I am a girl who expresses my gratitude for the beauty in the flowers as I pass them, in response, I hear their songs. They are my brothers and sisters. 

I am a girl who as a child always believed that she could communicate with all the animals she met. Today I know she did and still does. They are my brothers and sisters.

I am a girl who looks out at the night sky at the millions of twinkling stars and says hello can you hear me? 

This girl knows that some brilliant essence out there sees her and hears her. They are my brothers and sisters.

I am a girl who believes in magic and plays often with the energy that surrounds us all, it always responds with joy. My brothers and sisters are here also. 

I am a girl who looks into a child’s eyes and says “welcome it’s so great that you are here, I see you.” They are my brothers and sisters. 

I am a girl who looks for the light of love in everyone she meets. You are my brothers and sisters. 

I am a girl that believes with all of her heart that the love of the Universe will guide me to whom it would have me be, where it would have me go, what it would have me say and to whom I would say it.

I am a girl who tried to be a grown-up and be everything she thought she should be and decided to just be a girl. 

I am everything without nothing. 

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

Spirituality is not a get out of jail free card in the human experience

This is a misconception that I have come across many times on my spiritual journey.

There seems to be this idea that because I am connected to my heart, the Universe and Spirit that I am somehow exempt from experiencing pain, grief, and suffering. 

If anything, I would say to you that my experiences throughout my life have at times been the complete opposite. 

There is not a time in my life that I can remember where I was not intuitive, where I was not emphatic to the emotions and feelings of others, or a time when I could not hear or sense the thoughts of others. 

This in itself has caused me a great deal of pain throughout my life.

I have spent a lifetime trying to make others happy just so that I could ease the feeling of pain in my body while in their presence. 

For the majority of my life I actually believed that I must have been the cause of their unhappiness or that others were upset with me personally. 

I would often walk away from a conversation feeling utterly confused because someone would say one thing and I would feel and hear what they really meant.  

Many times I actually believed that perhaps there was something wrong with me, that I was crazy, and I would often doubt my intuition therefore my sanity.

I can see now that being a highly sensitive intuitive person actually heightened my feelings and emotions.

The world around me was always too loud, being around people was exhausting and further led to my feelings of not fitting in and increased my sense of not being enough. 

From childhood, I not only felt peoples words, I have always felt the physical energy of the emotions that were behind the words. 

I can promise you, words really do cut like a knife into the heart.

So what did I do to solve this very uncomfortable daily experience?

Somewhere along the way I made the decision that in order for me to live this life I must numb all of my emotions and avoid pain at any cost.

I started smoking at an incredibly young age, I made the decision that somehow this protected me from bullying and from my emotions.
I became addicted to sugar – sugar made me feel happy and again numbed any feelings of pain.
Food of any kind became my friend – if I felt sad I ate, If I was angry I ate, if I was bored I ate, if I was happy I ate, If I was lonely I ate.
Alcohol – when I drank that numbed the pain and alleviated any feelings of social anxiety.
Later on, as my world fell apart around me, it became drugs both over the counter and recreational. 

Throughout all of this I continued to follow my spiritual path, yet I had still not fully embraced all of who I was or discovered the wisdom and insight to trust that it was safe to feel my emotions.

So I continued to avoid pain at any cost in any way that I could.

There have been too many dark nights of the soul in my life to count and still I ran.

The greatest pain that I have caused myself throughout my life was running away from my spirituality and my emotions in the hopes of feeling ok in this world.

The last six years have been a healing journey into my heart and my soul.

In stepping fully into my spiritual gifts, I released myself from addiction.
In journeying into my heart through meditation I learned that my emotions were not my enemy and that they were in fact my salvation.
In surrendering to the love of the Universe and reconnecting to my higher power I learned that I was loveable and that I could love myself.
In embracing all aspects of my spirituality, I stopped running and instead faced all of my fears and emotions head on with love and compassion.

It was at this time that I made the conscious decision to fully live this human experience.

Today I feel pain, grief, suffering and fear more intensely than I ever have at any other time in my life.

The difference now is that I am equipped with the tools to lovingly support myself in a healthy way.

I now trust my intuition and the support of the Universe whole heartedly.

I now no longer run away from the pain of my emotions and I allow myself to experience them in whatever way feels right to me.

Being spiritual does not give me a free pass in feeling and experiencing whatever life brings my way.

It does however provide me with a deeper understanding of myself and others as well as a higher perspective as to what my relationship to life is.

I can see now that the beauty of being human means that we have the capacity to feel emotions. 

It is the ability to feel emotion that provides us with the ability to feel empathy, compassion, kindness, and love for ourselves and others.

They are gifts from the Divine and our soul that awaken us as well as raising our levels of consciousness.

Our emotions, whatever they may be, are here to teach us how to be a more loving spiritual being of light.

Life’s experiences awakens us to the light of our true nature should we choose to experience them fully.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx