Just because you want to.
What if just for today you said F*K you to normal and embraced every beautiful, quirky, whacky, joyful and wonderful aspect of who you are.
I can’t help but wonder how satisfying relationships can be if there is a constant need within for validation, approval and acceptance.
It has been my own personal experience that the more that I turn my attention to the outward validation that I may be seeking the unhappier and more dissatisfied I become.
This feeling of approval, acceptance and validation is a fundamental human desire, it is a basic human need and we continuously seek this outside of ourselves through people, experiences and things.
Have you ever experienced the desire to have a new car and for months the mission of finding the perfect car at the perfect price lights you up and fills you with excitement?
Then once you have the car for a month all of those feelings of happiness and satisfaction are gone and your car is just a car.
This is how fleeting our attachment to external people or objects is.
When you attach your happiness to form it can never continue to provide you with the same level of happiness.
I am sure like me most of you have experienced what you believed to be the perfect partner.
This initially fills you with feelings of love, security, acceptance and happiness.
Then after a few months there are behaviours or quirks of the other person that no longer continue to give you the same high that you once felt and you begin to become discouraged or confused and start wishing that it could be like it was in the beginning.
What I have observed in my own behaviour and in the experiences of so many people that I have worked with is this.
In the moment that you believe that you have found the “thing” that is going to complete you, make you feel whole, safe, loved and happy you place upon it the need for it to remain exactly as it is and to not ever change.
This in itself is impossible as we live in an ever evolving and ever changing world.
People have their own growth to experience and in the moment that you want them never to change you are in fact taking your heart out of your chest, placing it onto a platter and presenting it to the other person for them to now forever be responsible for your happiness.
I love my husband dearly and it has not always been an easy road for us.
At the time that I began to go through what I lovingly call my “reawakening” process I was afraid that our relationship would not survive how radically I was changing.
When I say changing what I mean is that finally I was stepping fully into the truth of who I was meant to be and embracing all of my natural born spirituality.
I was receiving so much information from the Universe and in a sense unlearning all that I had known myself to be before.
It was in those very early days of beginning to speak what I was receiving, the connection that I was building not only with myself but with Source.
I think it is fair to say that not many people around me were speaking my language and this only further fuelled my life long need of being accepted and loved.
It was raw, it was thrilling, it was terrifying and it was liberating all at the same time.
What this experience taught me was that the only approval, validation, acceptance and love that I was really seeking was my own.
My only choice was to love me for who I had been and who I was now becoming.
The relationship that I was reigniting with my Soul and the Universe was becoming so important to me that there was no other need that I felt, there was nothing material or external that could possibly fill the desires that I had previously had.
Here was an unconditional love and support that no one else was actually capable of providing me with.
These are some of the steps that helped me help myself on my spiritual reawakening
* Through regular meditation I accessed a part of myself that I have forgotten, the soul aspect of myself
* Meditation connected me to an unconditional love that I had never truly experienced before
* Whenever I felt unloved, unsupported or unheard I immediately went within and asked myself how I could love myself more, support myself more and what was the voice within that I was not listening too
* Daily mirror gazing and telling the reflection of myself in the mirror how proud I was of her, how much I valued her, how much I like this new person looking back at me and how much I loved the person that I was before
* I became brave enough to speak what was really in my heart and mind
* I allowed myself to be truly vulnerable and that terrified the crap out of me
What happened then over the course of many months and years was this:
* The Universe placed the perfect people in my space that were ready to hear the new discoveries and truths that were unfolding for me.
* My relationship with my friends, my children and my partner deepened.
* My need for external validation and approval reduced significantly – I say this because it occasionally arises within me but I am now fully equipped with all that tools I need to come back to centre.
* I forgave myself and others
* I grew in leaps and bounds both personally and spiritually.
So my beautiful friend are your external relationships leaving you wanting or a bad taste in your mouth? (If however you are at risk of harm please seek immediate assistance)
If so then I invite you to begin implementing the above strategies into your daily life.
The sooner you start building the perfect relationship with yourself first and foremost the sooner this can become a physical manifestation in your external world.
At times I find myself incredibly overwhelmed with the responsibility of being successful of being the best version of myself and in being all that I need to be for all who need for me to be “me”.
I sometimes feel that I have worked so hard to heal and self develop and yet at times I still feel like I’m walking in the dark.
I honestly feel that the crazy messaging that we are all exposed to at this powerful time of online messaging can often make us feel less than or that we aren’t doing enough to save the world and humanity or that we aren’t successful because we haven’t yet figured out what the fuck it is that we are supposed to be doing.
I find that at these times it is a clear indicator to me that my attention has wandered too far outside of myself and I am not paying attention to the internal dialogue that is going on in my head. I haven’t given myself enough time of stillness, of coming back to the present moment, I haven’t been giving myself enough love or self care and have wandered out of the flow of connection to the Heart and my Soul.
I also find that as the planets go deeper into retrograde and we are all asked on a deeper Soul level to awaken, as we are all upgraded energetically, cosmically and spiritually that the feelings of overwhelm can arise within us even more intensely.
This may present to you as a heightened sense of anxiety, feelings of confusion or just feeling as though you are the kite that has let go of the one holding the handle and you are randomly floating out in space with no clear direction or answers as to where you may potentially hit the ground.
It is a tightness in your chest that you need to be doing something but you can’t figure out what, there is a weight pressing down on you and for the life of you, you can’t figure out what to do to lift that weight.
It is during these times that we are all called to go within to come back to our breath and to focus our attentions on being in more in the present moment.
Here are some tips to help you through these powerful times ahead.
- Create your very own sacred space
- Light your favourite candles
- Play your favourite music
- Place your hand on your heart
- Feel your feet on the ground beneath you
- Give thanks and appreciation for all that Mother Earth has provided you with
- Take 10 conscious breaths – following your breath all the way into your body and all the way out of your body
- Move your awareness into your heart centre
- Feel and sense the light of your Soul from deep within your heart centre
- Visualise a cord of light moving from your heart centre down through your body, your feet and down into the heart of Mother Earth
- See your cord of light connecting to the heart centre of Mother Earth
- Sense her energy rising to meet you as it settles and connects with your heart centre
- Visualise a cord of light from your heart moving up through your crown chakra and reaching out into the Universe
- Feel and sense your cord of light connecting with the Heart of the Divine/Source/God Consciousness
- As you connect in with the heart of the Divine feel and sense her/his energy and love flowing back down to you and connecting with your heart centre
- See yourself wrapped in the loving arms of Mother Earth and the Divine, as above so below
- Breathe in these beautiful energies with your breath for a minimum of 10 minutes
- Take out your journal and ask heart that is now filled with the energy of the Mother Earth and the Divine what it is that you most need to hear and know at this time.
As you connect to those energies you awaken the voice of your Heart and your Soul allowing you to be intuitively guided from within at this time.
So I spent some time while on my holiday being frustrated at this loss but also recognised that it was useless to allow this event to ruin my holiday.
So I accepted what had occurred and said goodbye to my phone and was able to replace this as soon as I got home.
I just couldn’t understand why the person who collected an item that was not addressed to them didn’t just take the items straight back into the Post Office.
Even the sender of my items was outraged on my behalf.
- I let go of my anger and was able to send well wishes to this person.
- I was able to fully let go of the attachment to an outcome * I took full responsibility and accepted that really I was the only one that was at fault as It was I that had made the mistake and no one else. *It bought to my attention how easily we can be seduced by the ego minds need to be right.
- This situation reminded me of powerfully and instantly the story we tell creates our reality
I have been journalling the last few weeks how grateful I am to be in a position in my life to be teaching and sharing all that I have learned in my life.
I absolutely adore teaching Ascension Reiki and awakening the healer within.
I love with all of my heart teaching and sharing the gift of meditation and it lights me up on so many levels to share to others my Spiritual journey and insights.
So as I was journalling all of these wonderful gratitudes last night and reaffirming my love of teaching a memory from my childhood came into my mind.
My parents were given an old wooden school desk.
It was one of those ones that had a steel frame, had a timber seat with timber lids that lifted up and it comfortably sat two people.
I loved this old desk and as the oldest of 5 kids I had ready made students at the whim.
The memory was of me making my sister and my brother sit at this desk out in the back yard while I would be standing out in front with a wooden ruler in hand pretending to be a teacher.
Much to their disgust I might add, but I loved the feeling of pretending to be a teacher.
Another memory has just come to mind as I am writing this.
A memory of my sister and I making chocolate cakes. (we loved chocolate cake)
I would be making the cakes, but as I was making them I would pretend that I was on TV and I would explain each step of the process as though teaching someone how to make a cake.
Admittedly most of the batter would be eaten before the cake even made it into the oven so our cake would only be a few centimetres high. lol
Interestingly though, as much as I loved to pretend to be a teacher I hated school.
I struggled to understand what was being taught to me and I always felt that I was dumb compared to all of the other kids around me.
School to me was a scary place, the teachers scared me – back then they yelled a lot and readily handed out physical discipline and no one really seemed to take the time to explain or break down things for me in a way that would make sense.
So learning and school became a place of constant stress and anxiety. Learning was not fun in any way for me.
What I can see now is that this inspired within me a deep desire and need to ensure that whenever I was speaking with someone or in a situation that required me to pass on information, that this was done in a way that could be easily understood.
I became adapt at reading whether or not what I was conveying was being received fully.
So whenever I picked up that it wasn’t making sense to the other I changed my language and my delivery patiently until they got it.
What was also revealed to me in my journalling was the thread and remembrance that in every job that I have ever had there also arose in each one an opportunity for me to train, teach or support staff.
These opportunities just seemed to be natural progressions for me.
I was blessed to have an amazing Team Leader in one of my jobs that saw a potential in me that I hadn’t acknowledged.
I have always loved helping people and was always ready to share information and help out my fellow team members whenever they needed assistance.
It was this quality that she saw in me that prompted her to encouraged me to apply to become a trainer.
It was more than encouraging really, she actually hassled me every day for my application until I finally overcame my fear and gave in.
This led to an opportunity to train a new intake of staff, 6 weeks of intense training followed by ongoing support.
I won’t lie, I actually said no, I came up with all of the reasons why I couldn’t or why I wasn’t ready but she didn’t give up. Eventually thanks to her persistence I agreed to take the opportunity.
I am so very grateful for her persistence and her belief in me as it was through this opportunity that I discovered my love and passion of training.
I can see now that my negative experiences at school awakened within me the desire to learn how to teach in a way that meets the needs of everyones learning styles.
To communicate and teach from a place of respect, patience and understanding.
I cannot believe that it has taken until now for me to see this consistent thread throughout my life.
I have finally fulfilled my childhood role playing of being a teacher and have come full circle.
My greatest joy in my life right now is teaching, it lights up my Soul and it makes my Heart sing.
I truly believe that we come into this life already complete with our own unique gifts and talents.
What were your childhood dreams, role-playing and imaginings?
Can you also see a thread of this playing out throughout your life?
This is where the magic lies my friends, it is in your childhood that the secret of your unique talents could be waiting for you to uncover, acknowledge and embrace.
Most of us have been in that situation where we have had the make the painful decision to end a relationship, or it was ended by the other person.
There are months or even years of
heartbreak and pain in trying to make something work that is clearly not filling
you with support, love and friendship.
Years of perhaps trying to change who you are in order for the other person to treat you the way that you deserve and wish to be treated.
Years of trying to change another in order for you to feel safe and loved.
Years of probably thinking why don’t they love me enough to treat me the right way.
Perhaps the other has betrayed your trust in some way and they are the ones who have ended the relationship.
Or over time you just fell out of love with this person, you may have grown and changed and they have remained the same.
We are often left with feelings of guilt, betrayal, hurt and a sense at having failed in some huge way, and confused as to where it all went wrong.
Amidst the pain there is a sense of
shame that leads to the belief that something must be wrong with you and that
must be the reason why the relationship did not work.
In that moment your heart is broken and your world is shattered, and then there is the added embarrassment of having to reveal this to the world around you.
In some cases you may be fully supported, in others you may be judged and criticised.
What I find most surprising is that the ones that you thought would be there for you are often the ones that disappear and are nowhere to be seen.
This only leads to further feelings of pain and heart break and grief.
Pain of losing something comes in so many different forms, the loss of a job, the loss of a pet, the loss of a friendship, the loss of a relationship, receiving a medical diagnosis that changes your world, or the loss of a loved one.
All of these situations are painful,
they are fearful and they are heartbreaking to say the least.
So, what is the purpose of
experiencing pain, what is the purpose of heartbreak, what is it that this
What I have come to know through my experiences of heartbreak at relationship losses, of family fallouts, of friendship breakdowns, and of the loss of loved ones, all seems to have an underlying flavour and theme.
These situations have occurred in my
life to crack open my heart, to fill me with a deeper sense of awareness of the
Universe and for me to grow on so many levels.
Co dependant and abusive
relationships have taught me these invaluable lessons:
I have a strength within me that I did not know was there
I am capable of living my life for myself without needing the permission of another to be myself
I discovered who I was, who I wanted to be and what mattered to me in my life
I became an independent individual capable of making my own life decisions
I learned to love me for who I am and to no longer take on the beliefs of another
I developed deep self worth and deep self love for all of me
I recognised that I am worthy, valuable and beautiful
I learned to celebrate my quirkiness and my weirdness
I reconnected to my own unique spiritual gifts
I learned to provide myself with all that I could ever need from another
I learned that all I need to change is how I feel about myself and the world around me and life will meet me there
Happiness is an inside job, it cannot be obtained from any person, thing or place
I am worthy, I am valuable, I am whole and complete just as I am.
The loss and heartbreak of losing a
loved ones has taught me these invaluable lessons:
The first loss that I experienced led to some serious questioning of why we are even here and what is the purpose of our existence which ignited my 30 year spiritual quest.
This catapulted me into the realms of all things Universal, Spirit and consciousness.
I discovered and connected with my higher power along with my Soul.
I gained the understanding that all life is precious.
Love is the answer to all, it is our natural state of Being.
What we think is important now can be gone tomorrow so make the most of what you have and are today.
Our existence continues long after we leave this physical plane.
We are all connected.
There is more to this life than meets the eye.
Life wants to support us.
This world is filled with beauty should we choose to see this.
We are powerful beyond measure.
Grief and loss is often the greatest catalyst to awakening and deep spiritual enlightenment.
In every painful experience there is a beautiful gift, a hidden jewel just waiting for you to discover.
To get to this hidden Jewel we must
first allow ourselves to feel the fullness of the emotions that are arising as
painful as they may be.
It is this pain that breaks the
chains of your heart and this allows your Souls light to shine through.
Every situation is happening for you, not against you.
They are golden opportunities for your Souls growth and your hearts expansion.
In an instant what you thought was important can drop away and in its place the real value of your life is revealed to you.
Your priorities change and simplicity becomes a must, relationships deepen, and you no longer take your life for granted.
As your Soul shines through you are able to then glean all of the learnings of these painful lessons.
Lessons such as recognising your own worth, redefining your boundaries, discovering your ideal relationship or committing to living a more fulfilling life.
Sometimes it is as simple as recognising that love is more important than any material object or achievement.
As I look back over my life and all
of the traumatic, painful and heartbreaking situations that I have been through
not one of them has been for nothing.
Every one of them has been the
springboard for higher learning, greater personal growth and a deep far
reaching connection to the love of the Universe and those around me.
You are no longer the same person
that you were before you went through this pain and suffering.
Take time to acknowledge how far you
have come, how much you have grown and how significantly you have changed as a
Seek the jewels and they will be
revealed to you and as you discover them your healing and growth will be integrated
into your Heart and your Soul.
If you haven’t already read Liz’s Eat, Pray Love I highly recommend doing so.
Maybe you have already watched the movie.
For me I am an avid book reader, and even more so I love to listen to the author retell their own story.
I find that this connects me on such a deeper level to the energy and the emotion behind their story.
What stood out for me most when I read this beautifully moving book was how much of her story that I resonated with on such an incredibly deep and personal level.
I too had gone through divorce, and the lead up to finally making this decision was incredibly painful to me.
I felt as though I had failed not only myself but my family, and there was unexpected fall out in my decision that plunged me into a terrible depression.
Unfortunately at that time in my life I turned my back on my already much travelled spiritual journey and I became angry with the world.
It was this turning my back on my spirituality, my connection to Source and my guides that had me journey a 10 year path of anxiety, depression and stress.
Don’t get me wrong, there were some amazing moments during this time as well, but most of it was overshadowed by a deep unhappiness that no matter what I did or how I tried to numb this nothing really seemed to lift me out of the where I was at.
It wasn’t until late 2015 that I knew deep in my heart that I could no longer continue to live the life that I was living.
I had started to talk to the Universe again, actually I was daily begging Source to somehow help me and to save me from myself.
There were a series of intense events that occurred in my life at that time over several months, it was as though the Universe had stacked up all of the Dominos and was patiently waiting for the right moment that it could push the first one.
I was gently guided to meditation and was strongly guided to commence a daily meditation practice and this was amazing to me as it really started the opening up of my heart process and cracking open the door of the Universe.
This to me felt as though this was perhaps the first domino that had begun to fall. Of course it wasn’t until a few months later that I was able to really see that as a truth I was completely oblivious to what was about to occur as I was fully in survival mode only at that time.
It often amazes me but really shouldn’t surprise me that it is largely heartbreak that will crack you wide open for the real shift and change to take place.
And it was through this experience that I found myself on my knees to God/Source begging for help, begging to be saved from myself and begging to be shown the way forward.
This was the beginning of my incredible reawakening and it happened fast, once the dominos fell and I surrendered to the process the acceleration of my awakening, my healing, reconnecting to my Soul, reconnecting to the unconditional love of the Universe, speaking once more to God was on a fast train one way trajectory that no one and nothing could stand in the way of.
The last five years of my life has been my complete focused intention of finding God/Source, of finding myself and of course discovering my purpose in this life.
There have been moments of such exquisite expansion, complete out of body experience, a sense of complete unity and oneness that utterly took my breath away, it was such an incredible moment that I wondered how on earth I possibly I could fit back into my human body.
Synchronistic events and moments that have blown me away and filled me with joy.
In surrendering to all of this, I often have to pinch myself for all that has occurred in my life over the last 5 years.
It literally feels to me that until that moment I had been completely asleep and only then did I wake up to this life.
In all honesty there was an aspect of myself that until that moment hadn’t really decided to truly live or be here.
My life is now filled with love, with compassion, with healthy fulfilling relationships and I thank God/Source with all of my heart everyday for saving me from myself and opening my eyes and heart.
So it is truly an honour that I will be getting to be in the same space as Elizabeth Gilbert where she will be sharing her personal journey, her insights and her spiritual teachings with us all.
The Ultimate Girls Week Away is a week of spiritual teachings, of connecting to like minded beautiful women all on their own journey who are also seeking their own inner wisdom, a spiritual connection and a chance to nurture yourself.
Are you ready to have your very own Eat Pray Love adventure?
There is not a moment that I would change and it is a journey that I am blessed to still be living and breathing everyday.
I invite you to allow myself, Liz and 29 incredible facilitators to hold space for you to have your own experience of self discovery.
Yes I know, Liz, Lizzy, THE Elizabeth Gilbert, it is going to take all of my willpower not to gush and be all fan like.
It is going to be so hard to stay cool in her presence.
I’ll probably snort and laugh hysterically lol
You can hold your place now for only $50 and pay as you go and you will find this under the registration tab on the website.
Big Magic and Love,