Be the Caterpillar

When you are constantly on the move, always focusing your attention on the next best thing you can miss out on the chance to fully embody all of the brilliant transformations that are going on within you.

We come from a generation of quick fixes, overachieving, and setting the next goal.
All of which creates a constant desire to have more and to be more.

This insistent desire to keep moving forward, maintaining momentum, and constantly reaching for something greater, can lead to exhaustion and burn out.

Your inspirational ideas to continue to grow and create becomes addictive. 
So much so that you can potentially trigger your nervous system to switch into overdrive. 
Always feeling as though you need to be “on” can turn into resentment, believing as though everyone wants something from you, and spiral you into negative self judgement.

While it is great and healthy when balanced to be looking at ways that you can improve on who you are, it can become redundant if you never allow yourself to rest and fully appreciate where you have come from and all that you have achieved thus far. 

When was the last time that you took the time to review all that you have accomplished in your life?

Moments in your life when you had to dig deep and tap into your inner strength and resilience to work through unexpected events that popped up.

Events such as deciding to make a career change.
What events led to this decision?
Perhaps it was recognising that the organisation that you worked for was no longer in alignment with your values. 
A relationship where you knew long before you made your decision was no longer healthy or right for you.
Acknowledging the way you were living your life needed to change to positively support your health and wellbeing.

We think that these decisions are made in an instant, but they are not.
They are made based on years of intuitive nudges from your heart that something is out of balance.

Having the courage to take the next step, whatever that may have been for you is huge.
It requires a level of self love realisation.

Realising that you are worthy of a loving relationship, setting healthy boundaries, working in an environment that supports your strengths, and choosing wellbeing in mind and body comes from a place of love for all that you are.

These are monumental choices and decisions that have changed the course of your life and they deserve to be recognised.

Everything in your life that you have gone through has been transforming you into the version of you that you are today.

This in no way implies that the journey has been an easy one.
For some of you, these moments would have been preceded by great pain and suffering.
For some of you, these moments will have been filled with a great sense of freedom and achievement.

Whichever one it is for you, looking forward to “what’s next” may have been your go-to.

This has certainly been true for me in my life.
Looking for what I could focus my attention on was a way for me to ensure that I kept moving forward, a little like outrunning the past or trying to do better than the last great thing.

One of the learnings for me over these last few months has been to be ok with standing still.

Not being able to plan for the future has opened the door for being even more present.

This moment in time has forced us to all stand still and provided us with the unique opportunity to reflect on what is and on what has been.

We can choose to live this time in fear or we can choose to see it as an opportunity to reflect on where we have come from, a time to reassess what matters most to us, a time of rest, a time to fully embrace and embody all that has led us to where we are right now.

We are all caterpillars right now cocooned within a chrysalis.
We all have the opportunity now to shed our layers so that we may transform into the butterfly.

So take this time to honour how much you have grown in your life.
To recognise the strength, courage, and resilience that you have.
Let where you are right now, be enough for you and take the time to nurture yourself.

It is in giving yourself this time, all that you have done up until now can fully integrate into your being.

You may not think that what you have done isn’t much, and I am here to tell you that it is nothing short of miraculous.

Be the Caterpillar so that when the time comes to spread those wings and fly you will be more than ready.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

Blue Tardis is out of order!

As a kid growing up, I loved the series, Dr Who.

I was absolutely fascinated and sometimes terrified at the idea of multidimensional worlds and travelling back in time.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all travel back in time and make different choices based on the information that we have access to today?

But ALAS!! The blue Tardis is out of order and travelling back into the past is not an option.

So much of my healing journey has been recognising that I cannot go back to the past.

There is no opportunity for me to change the choices that I have made in my life.

What I have struggled with the most is coming to terms with, accepting, taking responsibility for, and forgiving myself for the choices that I have made.

I have beaten myself up for so many years over the decisions that I have made and the actions that I have taken.

Words that were spoken that can never be taken back, opportunities lost that I was too afraid to take, and the choices that I made that can never be undone.

The most difficult thing for me to do was to forgive that person that I was for the things that she did or did not do.

There is no time warp machine that I can hop on into and teleport myself back to the moment that I should have said no instead of yes, yes instead of no, or turned left instead of right.

It has been through recognising that the woman that I was at 32 could only have made the choices based on who she was in that moment.

Choices based on the pain that she was in and the level of consciousness that she was at during that time.

The young adult that I was at age 22 did not have the level of life experiences, emotional maturity, wisdom or knowledge that the woman I am at age 49 has had the chance to explore and evolve into.

I have in a way taken myself back into the past but not with the intention of changing anything.
I have ventured into the realms of my psyche to speak with, hold and tell those younger versions of myself that it is all ok.
Everything happened exactly that way that it was supposed to so that I could be the woman that I am today.

To say thank you to her for the choices that she made as it is through those life experiences that I am now in a position to help so many other women going through those exact same moments in time right now.

It is in living all that I have lived that I can with deep empathy, compassion, and love, have a deep understanding for those who are struggling with the same choices and decisions that I once struggled with.

So I have held her, I have told her how proud I am of her, I have reassured her that it was all worth something and that I would not her change herself in any way.

I have forgiven her for all that she chose to do in those moments, and I have done so because she could not have done anything differently based on who she was in that moment in time.

The only Tardis that is available to you is through the doorway of your heart.
A doorway that allows you the chance to travel back to who the version of you is that needs your love, compassion and forgiveness so that you can be released of all unnecessary pain in this reality that is now.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

Who am I without nothing?

I often ask myself who am I?

Who am I without my house?
Who am I without my name?
Who am I without my things?
Who am I without my titles and certificates?
Who am I without my business?

I sit and I ponder this often.

Here is what I have come up with today and it could look completely different tomorrow. 

I am a girl – I feel this often as I have never really felt like a “real” grown-up. 

I am a girl who loves to look up at the sky and wonders what heaven is really like.
I am a girl who looks up at the clouds and gets excited at the magic of the Universe and asks whose face is that looking at me in those clouds, is that you god? 

I am a girl who marvels at the beauty of the colours of the skies and the brilliance of the rainbows and asks in wonder, Universe did you create this all just for me?
I am a girl who discovers dragons in rocks and makes a point of touching his face every day and saying hello my friend how are you? And hearing his reply. He is my brother.
I am a girl who stands at the ocean’s edge and says hello to her brothers and sisters the waves and feels their mischievous replies as they race to splash me with their laughter.

I am a girl who says hello to every bird that she meets and knows on some level that they see me and hear me beyond the flesh. These are my brothers and sisters also. 

I am a girl who says hello to every tree that she passes, and sees their branches dip in greeting. They are my brothers and sisters. 

I am a girl who expresses my gratitude for the beauty in the flowers as I pass them, in response, I hear their songs. They are my brothers and sisters. 

I am a girl who as a child always believed that she could communicate with all the animals she met. Today I know she did and still does. They are my brothers and sisters.

I am a girl who looks out at the night sky at the millions of twinkling stars and says hello can you hear me? 

This girl knows that some brilliant essence out there sees her and hears her. They are my brothers and sisters.

I am a girl who believes in magic and plays often with the energy that surrounds us all, it always responds with joy. My brothers and sisters are here also. 

I am a girl who looks into a child’s eyes and says “welcome it’s so great that you are here, I see you.” They are my brothers and sisters. 

I am a girl who looks for the light of love in everyone she meets. You are my brothers and sisters. 

I am a girl that believes with all of her heart that the love of the Universe will guide me to whom it would have me be, where it would have me go, what it would have me say and to whom I would say it.

I am a girl who tried to be a grown-up and be everything she thought she should be and decided to just be a girl. 

I am everything without nothing. 

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

Spirituality is not a get out of jail free card in the human experience

This is a misconception that I have come across many times on my spiritual journey.

There seems to be this idea that because I am connected to my heart, the Universe and Spirit that I am somehow exempt from experiencing pain, grief, and suffering. 

If anything, I would say to you that my experiences throughout my life have at times been the complete opposite. 

There is not a time in my life that I can remember where I was not intuitive, where I was not emphatic to the emotions and feelings of others, or a time when I could not hear or sense the thoughts of others. 

This in itself has caused me a great deal of pain throughout my life.

I have spent a lifetime trying to make others happy just so that I could ease the feeling of pain in my body while in their presence. 

For the majority of my life I actually believed that I must have been the cause of their unhappiness or that others were upset with me personally. 

I would often walk away from a conversation feeling utterly confused because someone would say one thing and I would feel and hear what they really meant.  

Many times I actually believed that perhaps there was something wrong with me, that I was crazy, and I would often doubt my intuition therefore my sanity.

I can see now that being a highly sensitive intuitive person actually heightened my feelings and emotions.

The world around me was always too loud, being around people was exhausting and further led to my feelings of not fitting in and increased my sense of not being enough. 

From childhood, I not only felt peoples words, I have always felt the physical energy of the emotions that were behind the words. 

I can promise you, words really do cut like a knife into the heart.

So what did I do to solve this very uncomfortable daily experience?

Somewhere along the way I made the decision that in order for me to live this life I must numb all of my emotions and avoid pain at any cost.

I started smoking at an incredibly young age, I made the decision that somehow this protected me from bullying and from my emotions.
I became addicted to sugar – sugar made me feel happy and again numbed any feelings of pain.
Food of any kind became my friend – if I felt sad I ate, If I was angry I ate, if I was bored I ate, if I was happy I ate, If I was lonely I ate.
Alcohol – when I drank that numbed the pain and alleviated any feelings of social anxiety.
Later on, as my world fell apart around me, it became drugs both over the counter and recreational. 

Throughout all of this I continued to follow my spiritual path, yet I had still not fully embraced all of who I was or discovered the wisdom and insight to trust that it was safe to feel my emotions.

So I continued to avoid pain at any cost in any way that I could.

There have been too many dark nights of the soul in my life to count and still I ran.

The greatest pain that I have caused myself throughout my life was running away from my spirituality and my emotions in the hopes of feeling ok in this world.

The last six years have been a healing journey into my heart and my soul.

In stepping fully into my spiritual gifts, I released myself from addiction.
In journeying into my heart through meditation I learned that my emotions were not my enemy and that they were in fact my salvation.
In surrendering to the love of the Universe and reconnecting to my higher power I learned that I was loveable and that I could love myself.
In embracing all aspects of my spirituality, I stopped running and instead faced all of my fears and emotions head on with love and compassion.

It was at this time that I made the conscious decision to fully live this human experience.

Today I feel pain, grief, suffering and fear more intensely than I ever have at any other time in my life.

The difference now is that I am equipped with the tools to lovingly support myself in a healthy way.

I now trust my intuition and the support of the Universe whole heartedly.

I now no longer run away from the pain of my emotions and I allow myself to experience them in whatever way feels right to me.

Being spiritual does not give me a free pass in feeling and experiencing whatever life brings my way.

It does however provide me with a deeper understanding of myself and others as well as a higher perspective as to what my relationship to life is.

I can see now that the beauty of being human means that we have the capacity to feel emotions. 

It is the ability to feel emotion that provides us with the ability to feel empathy, compassion, kindness, and love for ourselves and others.

They are gifts from the Divine and our soul that awaken us as well as raising our levels of consciousness.

Our emotions, whatever they may be, are here to teach us how to be a more loving spiritual being of light.

Life’s experiences awakens us to the light of our true nature should we choose to experience them fully.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

 

It’s ok not to be ok!

I woke up today and the weight of the world seemed to crash down on me.

I have spent weeks with the mindset and intention that this whole virus thing would not beat me or get me down.

I have realised today that there has been an aspect within myself that has felt that there is a need to fight or defend against this.

I have taken it upon myself to be the light within this situation and I do feel that this is what my function is.

However, in order to be the light there must first be darkness in order to see the light.

Over the last few weeks I have been ignoring the shadow aspects of myself.

Your shadow is that aspect of you that you try very hard to pretend is not there, you distract yourself or you “up” yourself in order to not spend time with your shadow.

For many years this is what I did through my spiritual practices.

I believed that I could squash those aspects of myself that I was not so fond of by being the best spiritual version of myself that I could be.

I can see now that my spiritual practices are in fact the doorway through which my shadow self can step over the threshold in order to fully reveal itself so that I can be loved and accepted by all of who I am.

So today I sat and gave myself permission to not be ok.

As I am a person who always seeks for what it is that I can do to support myself in the best way possible.

I always open the pages of my journal to allow whatever is hidden within me to come to the surface so that I can shine the light of my heart upon it.

It is my belief that what we are experiencing on the planet at this time is a reflection of the internal fear that we have all been operating under for such a long time.

It is a reflection of our judgements of others, it is a reflection of our belief that we are separate, it is a reflection of how intently we have distracted ourselves from going within, it is a reflection of the fear that on some level we are fundamentally flawed.

Never before have we been given such a magnified opportunity to go within and review ourselves.

This is a time of great self reflection.

Never before have we been given this chance to stop doing and just BE.

All of those decisions that you have been putting off making are now sitting there in front of you shining like a bright neon sign.

Years of ignoring the voice of your intuitive heart can no longer be drowned out with the noise of busyness.

The voice of your heart is demanding your attention now.

So as I picked up my pen and started writing my permission to not be ok today, I noticed something wonderful begin to happen.

As each emotion that I was feeling was given a voice my writing shifted from the negative emotions that I was feeling and moved gracefully into gratitude.

This also bought to the forefront of my awareness what my internal dialogue was saying over and over “I am spiralling”.

Now a belief is just a thought that you continue to think over and over again.

This was my thought, I am spiralling and with that was a sensation of dropping downward and fear.

The sensation then felt like losing control which as many of you would know is not a comfortable feeling.

In this moment I made the decision to allow these feelings and thoughts to have my fullest attention.

This is where the magic happened.

The spiral that I not only felt but could also see as an image in my mind turned on its head.

The opening of the spiral was no longer facing downward it was now facing upward.

I began to say things like…

I am spiralling upward
I am spiralling up towards safety
I am spiralling upward towards happiness
I am spiralling upward towards joy
I am spiralling upward towards freedom
I am spiralling upward towards expansion
I am spiralling upward towards higher perception
I am spiralling upward towards creativity
I am spiralling upward towards light

It was through this that I began to feel my energy and vibration begin to rise up and the tightness within my body eased.

In allowing myself to express what I was feeling and thinking, I opened the doorway to higher perspective and freedom.

My negative thought in this moment became the springboard to completely move me out of where I was.

Just for today
It is ok to not be ok

Just for today
It is ok to feel frustrated

Just for today
It is ok to feel angry

Just for today
It is ok to feel sad

Just for today
It is ok to feel lost

Just for today
It is ok to feel lonely

Just for today
It is ok to feel uncertain

Just for today
It is ok to not have all the answers

Just for today
It is ok to unplug

Just for today
I will honour my feelings

Just for today
I am safe where I am

Just for today 
I am grateful for the roof over my head

Just for today
I am grateful for the friends that I can speak to instantly

Just for today
I am grateful for the ability to walk down my street

Just for today
I am grateful for the fresh water I have to drink

Just for today
I am grateful for my delicious coffee

Just for today
I am grateful for the love in my heart

Just for today
I am grateful for the beauty of life

Just for today
I am grateful for my health

Just for today
I am grateful for the food on my plate

Just for today
I am grateful for the company of my dogs

Just for today
I am grateful for the birds that I can hear

Just for today
I am grateful that I have to the choice to choose where I focus my attention

Just for today
I am free

When you bring the shadow into the light, the light holds out her arms and lovingly embraces and transmutes the darkness.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

The Power of the Divine Feminine Collective

I have known in my heart for some time now that it is the power of the feminine collective that will ultimately create the greatest change in this world.

To see this an action on a large scale throughout my recent trip to Fiji at the Ultimate Girls Week Away retreat was mind blowing.

During the first day as everyone arrived I could see that they were unsure of themselves and uncertain as to what their place amongst the group would be.

Women had come from all over the world and many of them had travelled on their own.

As I met and spoke to each one hearing their stories of where they had come from and why they were there I noticed several things.

Many had never given themselves permission to go on such a journey before and they had to go through a lot just to be there.

Some were there with friends or family and were exited for whatever transformations were going to occur for them.

Others were so out of their comfort zones that they felt that perhaps they didn’t really belong there.

Of course all of what they were feeling was completely natural.

This however was not to last for long.

As each day arrived I witnessed the opening of the hearts of many.

Women fast became friends and bonded over the sharing of their stories.

Women worked together in groups and shared intuitive movement of the body, creativity and facing fears.

Women meditated together and tuned into the voice of their own intuition.

Women supported each other with hugs, shoulders to cry on, tissues, words of encouragement and a collective bubble of unconditional love was formed.

I watched as women voiced their deepest desires and gave themselves permission to do whatever that may be.

We as a collective have been brainwashed with competition and comparison from the day that we are born.

We are told through media and our own experiences that we cannot trust women to have our backs.

We are taught that women will be jealous of us if we are successful.

We are taught that our partners are not safe if we befriend a woman who embraces her divine feminine and is comfortable in her own skin and sexuality.

We are taught that we won’t get ahead if we are not attractive enough therefore we unconsciously are mistrusting of an attractive woman.

We are taught that it is not attractive to be overly confident so we dim our light.

We are conditioned that unless we look a certain way we can never be happy or loved.

We are brainwashed that it is the survival of the fittest out there and therefore collaboration of any form will only weaken you and prevent you from succeeding.

We are fed so much bullshit from the marketing world that we should buy this, eat that, drink this, weight this much, wear this thing, have this coloured hair, have this perfume, use this product, have this treatment, don’t do this do that.

The list is actually endless and it is all designed to keep us feeling less than which only results in us remaining separated and isolated from the collective.

Women have been told for a millennia that we are bad, dangerous, untrustworthy and unworthy just so that we can be kept separate and keep our mouths shut.

This is a belief that is dying by the minute as women around the world unite together in support of each other.

What I have experienced first hand throughout my week away with women from all over the world, from all walks of life, from all backgrounds is this.

Women thrive on community connection.

When women feel supported they give themselves the permission they need to step into their own truths.

When women are surrounded by loving support they shine brighter than the Milky Way.

When women come together in unity there is a sisterhood that is formed that no outside influence can diminish.

When women come together magic truly does happen.

We are all so hardwired for connection, in fact we will wither and die without it.

There was a love revolution that I believe was started in Fiji.

Every single day I was so filled with joy and love that I felt that my heart would surely burst.

Women all around me were open, smiling, warm and ready to support anyone around them who was in need.

We chanted together, we worked together, we ate together, we danced, we laughed, we sang, we swam, we healed and we loved.

There is no mistaking the fact that traditionally it was women to ran the tribes.

I am also aware that this too was flawed on some level as we cannot deny either the feminine or the masculine aspect of ourselves.

In embodying both the divine feminine and the divine masculine and come together in unity women can absolutely change the world.

I was on my way to breakfast one morning feeling so much love, joy and gratitude in my heart.

As I was reflecting on how incredible it was to see each woman shining from within with self love it instantly dawned on me.

We traditionally do not think lovingly or supportively of ourselves, in fact if we were to be completely honest the way that we treat ourselves really is abusive.

On this morning In this moment of clarity I saw a world where every single woman appreciated, accepted and loved herself for exactly who she was.

It was a wondrous moment because what was revealed to me was that if this in fact happened it would end all violence against women, we would all live in a world of peace, harmony love and unity.

This is how powerful the Divine Feminine Collective is.

So lets begin today by creating a ripple effect in this world that creates lasting and positive change in our world.

Start today by accepting all of who you are.

Start today by supporting a sister or creating your own sister circle.

Start today by daring to love yourself like no other has before

Start today by giving yourself permission to do whatever it is that your heart desires.

Start today by being brave enough to step out of your comfort zone.

Start today by choosing to fully live this life

Start today by knowing that you are worthy of all that life has to offer you

Start today by embracing your divine feminine.

Much Love 
Kerryn 
Xxx

“You are the one who opens the door for another to walk through in their own time”

As healers, coaches, empaths, seekers of truth, lovers of personal growth and development and therapists, it becomes second nature to offer your tools and aid to those in need.
 
You probably find that people are randomly drawn to you and will openly and almost immediately share with you all that is not working for them in their lives.
 
Many of them will seek your advice and your help so that they too can live a life that is as aligned as what yours is.
 
They will be drawn to your light, your sense of wellbeing and all of your “togetherness”.
 
Many will fail to recognise that all of your togetherness is your commitment to implementing into your life your willingness to change your life in a positive way.
 
They may never witness your daily spiritual practices of journalling, meditating and commitment to changing your internal negative dialogue for one that supports you and raises your vibration.
 
They want the quick fix.
They want you to wave a magic wand and to give them the answers that will solve all of their problems at the wave of a hand.
 
We are so conditioned in society at this time for the quick fix, the magic pill that will change our lives for the better and make everything else that causes unhappiness to go away.
 
You and I both know that those of you who are the way showers have done the hard yards.
 
You have walked through the path of darkness in search of a better way, you recognised that the life that you were living was not serving you and you took it upon yourself to find solutions to your problems and you have done and are still doing the daily work.
 
This is why your light shines so brightly drawing others to you like moths to the flames.
 
So this message my friend is for you.
 
It is natural to want to share all that has worked for you with others and that is fantastic.
 
In these instances that is all that is required of you.
To pass onto to those that the Universe brings to you what you have learned.
 
Your role in this moment is to open the door – it is then the complete responsibility of the one you are aiding to walk through that door.
 
There are many reasons why one chooses not to, and that is not your responsibility and in no way reflects your worth or your value.
 
Many people will for a variety of reasons find comfort, worth, value, status and even their identity in holding onto their pain and their unhappiness.
 
There will be many who for whatever reason will refuse to believe that they are worthy of love, they will choose to continue to believe that they are unlovable and they will resist any offerings of ways in which they can change this.
 
There will be those that you offer the tools to create change in their lives that will give the perception that they are doing the work, and are not.
 
Then there will be those who will turn to you and state that it does not work and that it is all a lie and go back to their old ways and that is ok.
 
Real change requires a need greater than the comfort that their old patterns of behaviour provides them with.
 
Real change requires a willingness to see another way and to do whatever is necessary to create lasting change, peace and happiness.
 
The desire to be well must out weigh their old friend pain and suffering.
 
You are the light bearer, you are embodying the change that you wish to see in the world and that is your purpose right now.
 
So continue to do the internal work no matter what, to be the change regardless of what is going on outside of yourself and to open the door when someone comes knocking.
 
You can lead a horse to water but you cannot force it to drink the water.
 
You are the water, it is up to those who wish to change to drink the water.
 
So the next time that you find yourself becoming frustrated or disappointed that someone has not chosen to walk through the door know this:
 
You have planted the seed within their consciousness of how they can step over the threshold.
You have shone a light on what is not serving them and they now hold the key in their hands.
You have served your purpose in that moment by handing them the tools they require should they choose to take action.
 
The rest is completely up to them to do what they choose to do with it all.
 
You just keep on doing your beautiful way shower.
Keep on seeding the light by allowing the light to shine from within you.
Continue with your own daily practices and self healing.
Your alignment and your commitment to living your best life is the greatest healing that you can provide to another.
 
Go forth and open as many doors as you can and let that fill your heart with joy.
 
Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

Nurture your Faith

“The more energy and intention I bring to my faith, The more Fearless and Free I AM.”
 
Your faith can move mountains and as you harness the energy of that faith in your Higher Power the more fearless you become.
 
This is an opportunity as we move into the powerful energies of 2020 to put into place all of that belief and to fully walk your talk.
 
Your faith is like a beautiful flower, you first plant the seed, then you water it, it receives sunlight which in essence is your daily love and commitment and as you do so you can stand back and watch its magic flourish right before your very eyes.
 
We live in such a quick fix world, everything is literally at your fingertips, yet if you went to the gym it would take a regular commitment in order for you to gain the fitness that you are seeking.
 
Your faith is just like this, it requires commitment and regular attention in order to grow and flourish.
 
Fear can only be fuelled by the belief that you are alone, unsupported and lacking the resources that you require.
 
When you place yourself into the arms of your faith fuelled by love then miracles really can appear in your life.
 
The right people, places, ideas, and resources manifest for you at the perfect time.
 
Choose to place your energy and your intentions into your daily spiritual practices and your faith and in doing so you release yourself from fear and doubt and become the free spirit that you are at your core.
 
Blessings
Kerryn
xxx

Do you recognise your patterns of behaviour?

We all have strategies that you use unconsciously to cope with life.
 
In the last week and today I have had several epiphanies about myself.
 
I have been using several strategies to avoid feeling my emotions and they have snuck up on me over the last few months.
 
Now I have never proclaimed to have all of the answers and I recognise that I am a continuously evolving work in progress.
 
What I do know however is that as I learn and discover more about myself I feel inspired to share them with you in the hope that you too might learn more about yourself and what makes you tick. 
 
For the last four months every time that my husband has gone off for work my lower back has gone on me.
 
This always coincided with me doing hours of driving as I still travel to Churchill every fortnight to see clients and run classes. So I have put it down to driving in the car.
 
When my hubby is home my back is fine, when he goes my lower back goes.
 
A week ago when my hubby headed off to work for a new job and a new rotation of three weeks – my lower back went again.
 
It has taken me months to finally have the ‘ah ha’ moment that my back has nothing to do with driving and everything to do with him going away.
 
Yes, I am a huge Lousie Hay fan and have followed her work for more than 20 years.  And yet I still missed the signs.
 
Each time that my hubby goes away unconsciously I feel unsupported.
 
As well as this, I have recently started watching a series on Netflix, this is a new habit for me and a new way of numbing my emotions, and again this has taken me a little time to recognise my addictive pattern of avoiding my emotions.
 
Each time that he would go, it went a little like this.
 
I would grab some food, some good and some not so good and start watching my show.  I would tell myself that I would just watch one episode, then of course this would lead to another episode, then that would lead to some more food and then just one more episode until I am so tired I crawl into bed.
 
I have also realised that I am avoiding going to bed.
 
I justified this by saying to myself – I am eating my emotions right now and thats ok because I am consciously aware of it.
 
Total BS I know and this is how good our mind is at helping us to justify our behaviours. 
 
Our patterns, the habits or strategies that we have for avoiding what is really going on in our lives can come in so many forms. 
 
Some of them may be retail therapy, some of them are eating food even when we know we are not hungry, some are the games you play on your phone, some are the endless scrolling though Facebook, some are YouTube and Netflix and some of them are perpetual busyness and the list goes on.
 
So what are my strategies for helping me overcome this now that I have REALLY identified what is going on?
 
1. Sit quietly with the uncomfortable feeling of emotion in my belly and let it be heard.
By giving this my fullest attention, breathing into it, allowing my tears to fall and honouring how I am feeling, I am allowing the emotion to have a voice and be heard.
 
2. Stop and ask myself – what am I really avoiding right now in this moment and be brutally honest.
Journal it.
Say it out loud.
Tell a friend.
 
3. If I really want to watch an episode of my show watch only one.
As soon as my one episode is finished shut down computer.
 
4. Set an intended bed time and honour it. 
By doing this I am resetting my sleep body clock and creating a new healthy routine.
 
5. Do not beat myself up for taking so long to recognise my patterns. 
Awareness is power and empowering so instead of getting annoyed or disappointed, see this for what it is.
Another opportunity to learn and grow.
 
6. Introduce new strategies that are healthy and empowering.
 
Here are just a few that I am working on right now to create new healthy patterns for my day.
 
1. Earlier bed time 
Get back into my nightly routine half an hour before my intended sleep time. Eg: Face routine
Read an empowering book for 30 minutes
Meditate
 
2. Get up when my alarm goes off and not hit the snooze button.
Leave phone in Kitchen and use an old fashioned alarm clock.
 
3. I will not get up and get my phone until I have finished my morning meditation and journalling.
 
4. Set aside half an hour a day to walk.
 
It’s so easy for all of us to get caught up in the busyness of life and if we are truly honest with ourselves those “things” that we think are so incredibly important aren’t really that important.
 
All they do is take us away from the things that we know in our hearts that we should be doing to assist us in our own wellbeing and peace of mind.
 
2019 has been such a big year for so many people, myself included.
 
I have kept myself so busy and distracted the last 4 months simply to avoid facing all of the changes that have happened in my life and of course those beautiful emotions.
 
I am sharing this with you in the hope that you too might recognise some familiar patterns in your own life and some of my strategies might just help you take back control of your life too.
 
Much love
Kerryn
xxx

Are you Listening to your Body?

Why is it that we have this bullshit belief that we have to soldier on no matter how badly we may be feeling.

You could literally be dripping with sweat high with fever and still you will say to yourself “suck it up and get on with it”.

I really do feel that as women (sorry guys) we often feel the weight of responsibility with some underlying need to prove that we are superwomen and can be all and do all regardless of how this will impact ourselves.

Your body is the hub of your intuition, that’s why you will say you have a gut feeling or that something doesn’t feel right.

This is your body sending you signals to let you know that something is out of alignment and usually it is an area of your life that is no longer serving you.

Maybe you have been saying to yourself for some time that you really need to find a job that you feel good about going to everyday instead of feeling nauseous and filled with anxiety.

Perhaps you have been getting the signal from your stomach that particular kinds of foods don’t agree with you, yet as a whole we take a pill that allows us to continue to eat those foods instead of taking notice of what our bodies are trying to tell us.

The list is endless really.

Over time if you continue to ignore those intuitive nudges that your body is sending to you it will get louder and more intense.

You will begin to get aches and pains in your body, your nervous system will begin to play havoc and worse case your body will create an illness in order for you to stop and listen.

This has happened to me just recently.

I fell into the story that I have a responsibility and people are relying on me – Which of course is true and what I have had ever so lovingly placed in front of my face by my body and the Universe is not at the expense of myself or my own wellbeing.

I have been pushing through caught up in the busyness of all that I have done this year both within my own work and in my personal life.

I had been ignoring the gentle nudge from my body that I needed to take some serious time out, to completely unplug and to settle more fully into the present.

So my body first took my voice so that I wouldn’t be able to talk for long periods, then it gave me a cough so I wouldn’t be able to fully do the work I needed to do, then of course it gave me the body aches so that I would not want to physically do anything…

Thankfully this is not life threatening and as I give my body the nurturing, space and time out that it needs, it will recover fully and quickly.

The reason that I am sharing this with you is because I am listening to my body, I am giving my body my undivided attention and providing it with all that it is asking for so that I can continue to give to others all that they need.

What are the intuitive messages that you are currently ignoring that your body is trying to get your attention with?

I recommend taking 15 minutes to just sit and be fully present with your body.

Start by focusing your attention on your breath, following it all the way in and all the way out of your body, noticing gently where in your body your breath flows to.

Gently bring your attention to your heart, breathing into your heart centre.

Bring to mind something in your life that you feel deeply grateful for.

Now move your awareness to the tips of your toes and your feet, notice the sensations in your body as your move your awareness all the way slowly to the top of your head and back down to your toes.

Ask your body what it wants you to know right now, ask your body what it needs from you and what action it would have you take.

Blessings
Kerryn
xxx